What does that make me?
by sweetlovstorygurl
Summary: After the events of season 4 Juice finally comes to terms with the true feelings that lay in between himself and Chibs.  Oneshot. Warning: Contains Slash.


Juice rolled up on the apartment and parked his bike out on the street. Flipping up his shades, he tucked them into the front pocket of his vest neatly.

He watched the door for a long moment before turning back. With a smooth motion he twisted the key to his bike and listened to the engine simmer as it cooled down.

Juice took a moment to adjust himself and his sweater.

He hadn't really talked to Chibs since Jax had called the meeting last weekend.

Jax had surprised everyone by making Chibs his new sergeant and while Juice had been happy for him, he was still worried about the things that had happened recently.

They hadn't really talked since that night in the bathroom when Chibs had put his arms around him and told him it didn't matter. Just like that Chibs had dissolved all the fear he had. It wasn't just the fear of what they would do to him, it was the fear of losing the only real family he'd ever known.

He walked over to the house and pressed his lips together. Nervously he looked left and then right, to check if someone had followed him.

It was stupid really, Juice was a regular over at Chibs apartment and there was nothing suspicious about him coming over.

Sucking back his doubt he knocked on the door and waited for Chibs to answer it.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in," Chibs smiled pulling the door back. The drawl of his irish accent soothed a part of Juice that no one else could. There was safety with Chibs and there was this connection. A trust. Chibs knew the truth, but he just didn't care.

"Hey," he returned, the smile that bubbled up was instinctive as Juice looked at his closet friend.

He stepped inside as Chibs left the door open and turned away, giving him his back.

It didn't take long before Chibs had a beer in both of their hands and was crashed out on his favorite chair.

"Congrats by the way, on making sergeant," he started, looking at the new patch on Chibs vest.

"Ah...well it's flattering."

"The patch looks good on you Chibs," he smiled.

The comment elicited only a laugh from Chibs. "You're the bloody lady killer Juicy boy,"

Juice leaned back into the couch, not paying attention to the television or the people pantomiming on it.

"Something's up," Chibs suddenly interrupted, "I can feel it."

"With the Club you mean?"

The irishmen, looked at his beer, putting it down on the coffee table. "Yea. Jax isn't telling me nothing. But I can feel it. Op's not back yet either, when we all know that he's the one Jax should have as VP."

Juice looked away and pondered it for a moment. They all knew something had happened, something Jax didn't want them to know yet.

"How are you? You've been quiet. What happened?" Chibs interrupted suddenly, changing the subject on the fly and cutting a line straight through his thoughts.

"Umm, well...they let me go...and they gave me everything, Chibs. Everything they had on me...about my dad," Juice answered, awkwardly running a hand over the strip of his hair.

Chibs was staring at him. He did that a lot now. Every since he found Juice in the woods. He was watching, watching him when everyone else was too busy with their own crap.

"Well that's bloody good news," Chibs smiled, raising his beer.

Juice flashed him a classic smile and clinked the brown glass together. "Yea...It is."

There was long drawn out silence as they looked at each other.

"Okay, what is it?" Chibs asked breaking it. "Just because I missed it once, doesn't mean I'm going to miss again."

Juice licked his lips and shook his head.

The older man got up and crossed the living room to sit beside his friend. They looked at each other and Juice could only tilt his head to the side and stare right back.

The words got caught in his throat.

He and Chibs had always been close. Chibs was his best friend. All the parties, all the women. Chibs had made them fun.

There were times when he wondered what it would be like to be with him. Physically.

Sometimes the thought scared him, sometimes it haunted him.

He reached out and gripped the irishmen's shoulder. "I...Chibs," he started but couldn't find the words. He was tired of looking for them, when what he was feeling was so beyond them.

Juice put his beer down and gripped Chibs face, his fingers pressing into his jaw.

Their lips met and his breath hitched. Chibs beard scratched his chin and he could taste the beer on his damp lips.

It was only a briefest of moments, before the irishmen pulled away in shock and surprise.

"Jesus Christ!" He jerked back.

"Please! Chibs, just...just listen," Juice pleaded, reaching out to grab his vest.

Chibs tried to get up but Juice pulled him down.

"Just listen, _please_," he whimpered, suddenly terrified.

Chibs shook his head, his eyebrows drawn. "I need another beer," he croaked.

"Will you listen?"

Chibs looked at Juice and saw the pain there. He couldn't stand to looked into Juice's dark eyes and see them in so much pain. He nodded slowly, "Aye, I will. Just...I need another beer."

Juice let Chibs slide away and leave the room. Anxious, he rubbed his hands together and leaned forward.

How many times had he'd been inside some chick only to look up and catch Chibs eyes? How many times had he'd leaned into Chibs chest only to inhale the scent of cologne, alcohol and cigarettes.

The irishmen returned and set down another beer in front of him. He flopped down beside Juice and drowned half of his beer in one chug.

They sat like that, nursing their beers in silence, until he made it clear he was ready to hear what Juice had to say.

"Well?" He asked, finishing his beer and putting it on his knee.

Juice looked at him, not really finding comfort in the golden liquid. He leaned forward and put it down, resisting the urge to put his hands behind his head."It's...Chibs. I know that it's fucked up. You're all I have. You're my everything Chibs. Everything. We don't always agree, but I know you'll always have my back."

"So you're a fag then? Is that it?"

"No! No I'm not. I like pussy. Jesus...Chibs. It's not about sex," he said desperately, his eyes glassy. "Look at me and tell me you feel nothing."

Chibs stared at him, the scars on his cheeks making his frown pronounced. "I can't" he whispered.

The hope that caught in Juice's chest was a bit too much to handle as he smiled. "Look...I'm not asking for every night. Or every week. I'm not asking for anything to change. Fuck it could be once a year for all I care. Just...give me something Chibs."

"And what about the club?"

"They don't have to know. I'm not your old lady Chibs. No one has to know. I'm not asking you to change either. I like you the way you are"

Chibs put his empty bottle down and noticed Juice was looking away from him. He could see the desperation in his shoulders and he could hear it in voice. Juice needed something to hold on to and Chibs knew how that felt. The boy had always been something to Chibs. Bloody cute too. Whatever was happening to the club, Chibs needed Juice. They needed each other.

He gripped Juice's leather vest and dragged him back up. "Boy, look at me."

Juice did what he was told and the next moment was everything he hoped it would be.

Chib's opened his mouth to his and they were kissing.

He was still scared, but there was a connection there that Juice had never had with a woman. This wasn't about some nice piece of ass, though Chibs was a bit of a fox himself. This was about something different. They were equals, they were brothers and as Chibs kissed him, they were lovers.

There was no wrapping arms around necks or clinging to each other. Chibs hands gripped Juice's biceps and sub consciously kneaded the firm muscles, while Juice's hands gripped the denim of his jeans.

Juice's lips were just as soft as any woman's, only his jaw was stronger as they worked their tongues back and forth. It was a silent fight for dominance as they twisted and tilted their faces, making their mouths fit like puzzle pieces. Finally Juice relented, bowing out to let the irishmen invade and take his mouth.

It felt good to surrender and he rewarded Chibs by pulling and scrapping his tongue with his teeth.

Chibs groaned in response and to Juice's surprise he could feel the noise. He pulled back for just a moment look at how close they were.

"I don't bloody know what I'm doing," Chibs growled, the accent heavy on his damp lips.

"I don't know either," Juice laughed, catching his breath.

He looked down and noticed the stiff bulge in Chibs pants. He swallowed and took that first step. After all he'd already admitted his feelings. Part of him was scared, another part of him relieved to know he could get Chibs hard.

His fingers found the button on his pants and Chibs automatically gripped his wrist tightly.

"Are you really sure about this?" He asked again.

They're eyes met and Juice answered him with a hard stare.

The irishmen pushed his hands away and unsnapped the button himself, giving him permission for the fingers to slide down the front of his pants.

The first touch made the breath catch in the older man's throat. He didn't have any underwear under his pants. He was very european that way. He'd told Juice he found them too confining and this moment Juice was inclined to agree with him.

The feeling was odd. There was something soft yet hard about the other man's member. Juice knew he should've known what to expect, he had his own and he'd played around with it more than enough. Still he was having issues with coming to terms that this was Chibs he was feeling.

"Your hand hurts," the irishman complained.

"Sorry...I didn't...I didn't come prepared," Juice answered, uncertainty in his voice as he pulled his hand back.

Chibs merely rolled his eyes and got up. He held his pants up as he walked to the hall out of sight. After a few moments of banging around, he came back and tossed a bottle of lotion at his friend.

Juice felt slightly embarrassed as Chibs sat back down and leaned back. He shimmed his jeans down and Juice found himself staring at Chibs thick sex. He'd seen it before. It was impossible not to when they were as close as they were. Hell Chibs had seen his more than once too. But he'd never seen it like this before.

Slicking his hands with the lotion, he nervously gripped him and started stroking.

As if sensing his feelings, Chibs reached out and yanked Juice down over him. "It's okay," he breathed, "It feels good, you know."

Just to prove his point, Chibs nipped at Juice's ear, his facial hair tickling the younger man's skin. Juice swore he felt the sensation right down to his core.

He desperately focused on the motion of his hand, varying the speeds and the pressures. Though it got so much harder when Chibs started kissing up and down his neck.

He felt the hitch of Chibs breath before he heard it. It was funny how honest men's bodies were. There was no faking the pleasure, or denying that he'd made Chibs feel good. The jerk of his sex and sudden but complete seizure of the irishmen's hips told him so. As did the dampness of his palm.

Chibs body sagged back as he panted harshly.

"You should really quit smoking you know," Juice remarked wiping his palms on his jeans.

"You're shitting me right? You're asking me that now?"

Juice smiled largely and shrugged his shoulders, "You seem pretty winded, and I know it's not because of my awesome hand -"

The movement had been so sudden that Juice didn't see it coming. One moment he was sitting, the next Chibs heavy weight was pressing him into the sofa. "Juicey boy you're really a pain in the ass sometimes," he growled.

"Woah, who said anything about asses!"

"Oh shut up, and let me show you how you bloody well do it."

Juice opened his mouth to retort, only to have it filled. Chibs was relentlessly as he circled Juice's tongue idly, distracting him from what his hands were doing.

It took only a few moments to get the boy's pants undone and his sweater unzipped.

Pushing away the offending fabric, he looked up and they meet eachother's eyes.

They paused like that. Juice's white shirt was pushed up around his arms and his pants half way down, looking disheveled. Chibs wasn't much better.

"Chibs," he started only to have the irishmen shake his head.

"I know," he whispered, pressing their mouths together.

The rough palms caressed his chest and found his member.

He jerked, fingers twisting into Chibs blue shirt. "Chibs," he choked, squeezing his eyes tight. Chibs hand massaged his length with a skill that surprised Juice.

He felt the heat spread down his core and up over his skin. It sparked over his chest and he caught in his throat. He twisted as the pressure tightened in his groin.

Throwing his head back over the arm of the couch, Juice gritted his teeth and came.

He raised a hand and pushed some of the gray hair from Chibs face, kissing him tenderly.

Chibs raised himself off of the younger man and pulled his jeans up.

The silence was almost too hard for Juice to handle as he sat up on his hands.

The irishmen looked away and then back at his hands.

"Chibs?"

"I think I love you," Chibs said looking up, "What does that make me?"

He wasn't sure if it was the accent or the words that sent shivers down his back.

"Same person you've always been," Juice smiled, reaching out to grip his shoulder.

He pushed himself up and put his forehead against the side of the irishmen's face.

"They can't know," Chibs said quietly.

Juice turned his head and kissed his cheek. "I know Chibs. I won't say anything...can we...just stay here like this? Just for tonight."

Chibs cleared his throat and nodded, "Yea. For tonight."


End file.
